You guys, it is already day four of my trip. What??? I’m super sad about leaving SLC because I’ve had such an amazing time. Today I conquered the Great Salt Lake.
I am an avid fan of kayaking. Half the reason I created this route for my tour was so that I could specifically kayak on the Great Salt Lake. Today, I marked that off my bucket list.
I started the day early enough. To be honest, my house roomie was making a lot of noise so I ended up tossing and turning in the morning before I decided to just get out of bed even though I told myself I would sleep in. After packing all my things, I made my way out towards the lake. I had originally planned to drive all the way to the salt lake when I first arrived in the city. I wanted it to be my official stopping point but unfortunately my body gave up on me before I could achieve my goal.
Arriving at the lake was an adventure in itself. It looked… kind of broke off and before you even reached the marina there is a weird and random Taj MAHAL looking building in the middle of nowhere that distracts you from the experience of the lake. (Turns out it’s the Salt Lake Amphitheater.)
Anyway, I find the marina, I rent a kayak, and soon I am in the middle of a lake so big a freaking city is named after it. It is on this lake that I start to remember how much I wanted to learn how to sail. In fact, my ultimate dream in life is to live on a boat and travel around the world. This is a dream that I COMPLETELY FORGOT I HAD. Like what??? How do you forget a freaking goal you want to achieve in life??? And then I remembered.
I was in a relationship with somebody I deeply wanted and inherently planned spending the rest of my life with. I told him my ultimate goal of living on a boat and he just fucking stared at me like I was that craziest goddamned person he ever met in his life.
“You want to live on a boat?”
“Yeah. And just sail from country to country and maybe even raise kids on the boat and they would become global, cultural travelers before the age of ten.”
“……. But when do you start living your real life?”
“What do you mean?”
“When do you settle down and live in your house and pay your bills.”
“….. My boat would be my house.”
My partner literally could not understand this lifestyle and made me feel so embarrassed about having this goal that I pushed it to the back of my mind and forgot about it. Can you believe it??????????? I’m gonna tell you what I should have told him.
“Fuck off. You are an ASSHOLE for not supporting my dreams. I don’t need ANYBODY who claims to love me but goes out of their way to shame me for what I want out of life. Goodbye. See you never. I don’t need this.”
Our relationship did not end because of this conversation, but it really should have. If the person I’m with doesn’t understand why I need to travel, then what is the point??? I want to see how other people live. I want to hear things from their perspective. I want to learn. I don’t want to just rent hotel rooms and drink on resort property for a couple days before going back home to my shit 40-hour work week. Fuck that. I am genuinely interested in people in spite of my crippling anxiety, anti-social behavior and manic depression. Hearing people’s life stories is fascinating.
In fact, today I was listening to a podcast of someone’s rise to fame and what I learned from his story (and most people like him) is that they NEVER TOOK NO FOR AN ANSWER. They either found a way to turn that no into a yes or just said, “ Screw you, I’m gonna do this thing anyway.” So I’m letting that thought empower and motivate me to constantly keep striving for what I want.
The Salt Lake was a powerful force for me today, with its still waters and cold demeanor. I was the only person out there for a good amount time; just me floating on the water, and a cluster of seagulls that flew off once I paddled into their space. I’ve encapsuled these moments as much as I can in pictures but you can’t really know the serenity and the salt until you make it there yourself.